Sometimes I see her name in my email "contacts" box when I am looking for someone's email address, I always see her name in my address book with her old address when I am sending out Christmas cards, her birthday remains marked on my calendar. I check her blog every now and then to see if anything has changed on there. I just can't bring myself to take those things out of my life. It helps me remember her. Sometimes I find myself thinking, "Man, it's been a while since I spoke with Ashli - I should give her a call." Then I realize I can't do that and I reminisce about a friendship that has shaped a lot of who I am today.
On this week of her birthday, I remember things so poignantly...things we did together when she was well - which mostly involved laughing and being totally inappropriate...and then I also remember the last time I got to hold her hand just days before her 33rd birthday. We shared some sweet sentiments and somehow, even when she knew her time was limited, she made me laugh.
Tonight and tomorrow night I'm going to see Wicked, which is a very appropriate way to celebrate her birthday... I just wish she could be going with me. So, this one's for you Ash! I have a feeling that I will need to take a box of Kleenex with me just for the time when "For good" is acted out. There is always a certain amount of freedom that song brings to me, and I am so thankful that it is one of the ways that I am able to remember her by.
Happy Birthday, friend. You are missed and loved.
Comments (3)
thanks for writing this. how lucky we were to get to know her.
i have distinct memories of hanging out w/ the two of you one lunchtime when you and david were living at the matthesons. (sp?) and yeah...she was inappropriate.
Gwyn, pretty much the entire first year of our marriage she loved to make everyone (sometimes even us) feel awkward! It was an awesome ability that she had - which not many possess. Do you remember the Arby's innuendo? Awe.some. :)